It's Over... For Now

Finally, the overzealous Sheriff Leon Lott of South Carlina announced he will not charge Michael Phelps with pot possession. Over the past two weeks, there have been eight arrests and one possession charge stemming from the Phelps photo in which he was taking a bong hit.

"Michael Phelps is truly an American hero," Lott said in a statement, "but even with his star status, he is still obligated to obey the laws of our state. By ignoring the November incident, I would have been sending a message of tolerance and condoning the use of illegal drugs. I could not do that, nor have I ever done that."

Well, I'm glad they spent a whole two weeks investigating something that happened in November. I'm sure the residents of South Carolina felt really safe knowing so much manpower was going into this case. Real criminals realized how important this was to the department, so they stopped their murders, assaults, and rapes, so the police could pin Phelps.

Also, to the guy who sold the tabloid the Phelps photo: are you happy now? Celebrities behaving badly photos make big bucks, so I can only imagine what you did with the money. New flat screen TV? A year's worth of new PS3 games? A new bong? Whatever the case, I'm assuming Phelps wouldn't take bong hits at a huge house party, so it was probably a pretty close circle of friends. Meaning people you probably know got arrested. Their computers and cameras confiscated to look for more evidence. Just so you could make a quick buck. You also potentially ruined the career of a world class athlete. You're a great person. Have a nice life.

Source: Phelps Farce Finale

1 drink per hour? Really?

Say this gets passed. What will happen?

People will buy alcohol at stores and drink in the privacy of their own homes. This in itself might or might not be safer. Some people might be more willing to get flat out drunk at someone's house rather than doing it in public at a bar *ahem.* Now it depends if the friend is responsible enough to make sure the inebriated stay in place. Also, it is a proven fact that people absorb alcohol at different rates depending on sex and weight. This blanket approach targest the most conservative of these rates. People should know their limits without government intervention.

Bars themselves will close down. The closings will increase the unemployment. Because the demand for alcohol is down, that sector will hurt as well. More lay offs. Our economy goes even farther in the shitter. Just what we need. In times like these, the government should be encouraging spending, not stifling it. According to Dan Boudreaux, the real reason the government did away with prohibition in the 1930's was not because of public opinion, but rather to raise taxes. The income tax was not pulling in enough money during the Great Depression. By keeping people happy, the government can easily increase business and taxes.

The government has no right for punishing everyone for the crimes of the few. If worried about drunk driving, increase the penalties for it. Easy.

Woman married 23 times, looking for lucky number 24

Linda Wolf, a 68-year old Indiana woman, has been married 23 times. She was first married at the age of 16 in 1957. Her husband was 31, and it was for love. The last was in 1996, and it was merely for publicity. The groom Glynn "Scotty" Wolf, a Baptist minister, was the most married man alive, clocking in at 29 "I Do's."

They say Scotty took the holy out of matrimony, that he married so often because he wanted sex without sin, and that he once divorced a woman for eating sunflower seeds in bed.

Scotty and Linda wed in Quartzsite, Ariz., in 1996. A British TV crew filmed the event, but Wolfe has never seen the
footage, or the money promised to her for the publicity stunt.

Of her previous husbands, she's married the gays, the homeless, the abusive, and the convicted. Her seven children barely talk to her. But, the record pays for itself. "By the early 1990s, Linda Wolfe was commanding appearance fees of $5,000 to $20,000 on the talk-show circuit."

Wolf can marry 23 people, and there's no fuss from the traditional values conservatives. A gay man wants to marry his partner whom he has been in a monogamous relationship of ten years, and this is going to doom America. Makes perfect sense.

Source: Married, for the record
Jezebel - 24: Woman Married 23 Times Looks For Next Husband

Launch

For about the fiftieth time, I am starting a blog. Fantastic.

The main purpose of the blog is to offer commentary on news/websites/viral media. An expert, I'm not, but I can hopefully offer an unique perspective.

For the most part, there will be little to no personal posts.