It's Over... For Now

Finally, the overzealous Sheriff Leon Lott of South Carlina announced he will not charge Michael Phelps with pot possession. Over the past two weeks, there have been eight arrests and one possession charge stemming from the Phelps photo in which he was taking a bong hit.

"Michael Phelps is truly an American hero," Lott said in a statement, "but even with his star status, he is still obligated to obey the laws of our state. By ignoring the November incident, I would have been sending a message of tolerance and condoning the use of illegal drugs. I could not do that, nor have I ever done that."

Well, I'm glad they spent a whole two weeks investigating something that happened in November. I'm sure the residents of South Carolina felt really safe knowing so much manpower was going into this case. Real criminals realized how important this was to the department, so they stopped their murders, assaults, and rapes, so the police could pin Phelps.

Also, to the guy who sold the tabloid the Phelps photo: are you happy now? Celebrities behaving badly photos make big bucks, so I can only imagine what you did with the money. New flat screen TV? A year's worth of new PS3 games? A new bong? Whatever the case, I'm assuming Phelps wouldn't take bong hits at a huge house party, so it was probably a pretty close circle of friends. Meaning people you probably know got arrested. Their computers and cameras confiscated to look for more evidence. Just so you could make a quick buck. You also potentially ruined the career of a world class athlete. You're a great person. Have a nice life.

Source: Phelps Farce Finale